Transition is an important word, concept and even process in the world of finances. Professionals are recognizing more and more the reality of our human existence and the myriad ways our life unfolds in transitions. When we work with clients in integral wealth planning, transitions, business optimization and Integral Coaching™, we use the word transitions to depict the shifts and changes of our life through a variety of stages.
On the other end of the spectrum, you could name it a “lower limits” syndrome, loss may turn our world into a knot of sorrow where tears are flowing – or feelings are blocked. In this situation, we might avoid our truth and ratchet our body back to a rigid routine, return to the familiar. Feeling our feelings of loss is the precious journey which may “feel bad” but is a healthy part of passage. Blocking feelings limits our growth and ability to clearly navigate the disruption.
Our life in these moments of ending and moving into the passage stage of transition are filled with waves, highs and lows, and everything in between. Using the ocean and waves as a metaphor for my experience helps to frame this discussion. The super surfer wave of my son’s graduation, with the whole family and uncles present tipped my joy button. I was aware of the sweetness and awake to his undergraduate years ending. It was momentous for him, for me and for our family. This experience will never happen again. It was the same when I told him at the end of high-school, “You will never be a high-school senior again. Savor this moment.”
And then there are the experiences on the other end of the spectrum. My son and daughter are really moving out – launching; we are at the end of an era that, while I would not want it to be any other way, brings me sadness and loss. I feel a pang in my chest recognizing the waning of our young family and the closure to our family life together. These experiences as they were are complete. They have ended. So I create arguments, and I blame and criticize to shift the sadness into a more “manageable” feeling. The expansion of change feels overwhelming and I curb the moment of feeling the deep tenderness by contracting and bringing the energy down. Perhaps I am making it feel better that they are leaving?
Energetic waves of highs and lows want to be met with clear abiding attention. Our body leads the way while our brain rests in gratitude. Feeling the movement of joy, loss, grief, gratitude, power, achievement and more as these experiences happen is our calling and privilege in this human form.
In addition to tools, I welcome my body’s intelligence to inform me after completing the DFZ process, when I need to be alone, or to connect with a friend, or to sip hot tea and read a book, and follow through on closing Katelyn’s UTMA that holds a whopping $3.52.