Try not to resist the changes that come your way.
Instead let life live through you.
And do not worry that your life is turning upside down.
How do you know that the side you are used to
is better than the one to come?
– Rumi

 

Transitions are a fundamental, natural part of life. “… the only constant in life is change…” Research shows that the average person goes through 36 transitions in a lifetime, and five to six of them are big ones that require significant adaptive change.

Some major transitions:
• Marriage
• Children
• Divorce
• Retirement
• Losing a Spouse or Loved One
• Major Illness
• Receiving a Large Inheritance or Settlement

Smaller transitions of our lives:
• Empty-nesting
• Moving to a new home
• Relationship beginning or break-up
• Changing jobs
• Illness
• Travel

In the article below, we describe some common human responses to transition, and offer some considerations for dancing with disruptions with skillful attention.

Finally, we celebrate Knight Colman’s recent completion of training to earn the Certified Financial Transitionist® (CeFT®) designation. These rich and comprehensive tools are now available to you, our clients, to support the cycles of changes in your lives.

 

[Handcut woodblock print at top of page by artist Nick Wroblewski]

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Urgent need for decisions, go-go-go.
Moving through mud, feeling like a slug.
Limited time, ending the day collapsing on the couch.
Sporadic meals, hungrier than normal or no appetite.
Forgetful. Frustrated. Isolated. Foggy.

The above states of being describe a few of our typical human responses to being in transition. Most of us consider these states unfavorable and many of us believe transitions are undesirable. Perhaps reading about transition is ubiquitous—we have been through a tsunami of transition from pandemic events and more in recent years. We are well practiced, aren’t we?

Yes, and, life continues to move like a river flowing, ever changing even when we step in the same river in the same spot. Change feels like it is increasing and amplifying—everywhere. So yes, let’s dialogue about transitions and support each other during these disruptive times.

Why do we believe they are important?
How do we to meet these challenging states of mind?
What do we focus on when we are faced with a swerve in our path?

Grab our hand. Let’s review our perspectives and a few of the best practices.

In addition to our thoughts above, we believe transitions mount in layers on top of already difficult times in our modern world. With irregular weather patterns, global political strife, adversarial discourse in our own country, and even recent bank closings, we experience sufficient turmoil just living our lives. When our personal situation takes a turn—a negative health report, a divorce, a last child going to college, a home downsizing, a home renovation, career shift, a family vacation—our choices are compounded, and we can feel heavy, burdened, scared and confused.

Notice we feel these challenges even when our transitions are choices we desire, like retiring, for example.

We face and explore transitions regularly and we want to meet these experiences skillfully.

How do we meet transitions and challenging states of mind?

First, recognize that transitions are normal—being human means we will encounter change. And, transitions are more frequent and complicated, we believe from our evolution and advances in technology. Past improvements (some may question the improvement) have increased the speed of workflow (life flow), and our responses require clarity, discernment, and self-kindness. It helps to know our challenge is normal and we are not alone.

Second, we learn to slow down and pause. Unless running from a blazing fire, it is harder to gain clarity and discernment moving fast. We slow down and we rest to let the dust settle and we can see better.

Third, we lean in for support with effective tools and processes that provide an anchor or bridge.

And, finally, yes, we welcome our whole-body wisdom where all of our mental, emotional, and physical experiences are included in our clarity and choices.

What do we focus on?

We focus on the path and choices that align with what matters most.

First, we return to our Why. What in our life gives us meaning and purpose? Bringing that core heart knowing to our presence, we gain perspective on the timeline.

Are we addressing an acute issue that needs stealth-like attention?
Are we addressing a chronic issue that asks for a broader view and more space?

When you experience a major life transition, you need a transition story. You need help making sense of the event by crafting a story that places it in your life in a way that explains what it is, what it feels like, and why it is or is becoming important to your personal evolution and direction. Giving the event meaning, we move from what was, to what will be.

As creatures of narrative, we are constantly telling ourselves and those around us who we are through story. And when something dramatic changes in our lives, either by our design or not, that changes who we are. In the service of that, our narrative must change accordingly. We need a specific type of narrative structure that explains the present and describes the future. This allows us to maintain hope, to be okay with what has happened, and to eventually move forward during times of upheaval.

With direction, we match the best tools, practices and conversations to next steps, actions and checking for results. Financial services professionals ideally have all of the facts and figures; they have expertise in the financial picture. But Certified Financial Transitionists® have also been trained to help you create meaning—to help you with the stories of your life.

 

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Knight Colman has earned the Certified Financial Transitionist® (CeFT®) designation.

 

A Certified Financial Transitionist® is a professional with an established career in the financial services industry who recognizes the importance and the power of the personal side of money and the unique challenges of transitions. CeFTs® have a rich and comprehensive understanding of how people subjectively experience change, and are able to co-create their highest outcomes with them.

CeFTs® bring process and tools to their client relationships that are not add-ons. Instead, they are intrinsic to the experience of guiding someone through a transition. Their work is embodied; it’s equal parts what they’re doing and how they’re doing it. It requires a different kind of listening, a letting go of the seat of authority, and an ability to sit with and through uncertainty.

Long embedded in the philosophy of Colman Knight, the CeFT® perspective holds the view that whether change is motivated by choice or chance, there is a pattern for how we humans internalize and respond to life-altering transitions. Finding yourself in the stage of Anticipation, Ending, Passage, or New Normal, we are here to walk with you through the uncertainty and guide you to writing your new narrative.

 

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Susan Bradley, in her TedX talk, “Change Launches Your Next Chapter.” Susan is the founder of the Sudden Money Institute®, the think tank which developed the Certified Financial Transitionist® designation.