by Gayle Knight Colman

Last month Rich was in Florida for several days with his mother who is recovering from a broken leg and a two month stay in a rehab nursing home.  Certainly the situation was heart-filled, task oriented and all-together challenging. Since this event in November, Rich has been tending to practical matters (health insurance, long term care insurance, bill paying, account management, and so on) as well as matters of the heart. With both areas, skillful attention to detail and refined intuition are essential for an elegant transition.

Recently I participated in a webinar on the subject of dementia and helping others with diminished capacity.  For all humans, sustaining quality of life is a priority. But as we grow older, it becomes more and more relevant and necessary to be savvy about the stages of aging. Studies indicate that difficulty managing finances may be an early indicator of dementia and it can take up to ten years before a clinical diagnosis. Alzheimer’s affects 50% of people over the age of 85 and strikes one in five women, one in ten men. It is not a matter of if, but when, one will suffer from dementia.

Our lives are spent creating an environment that is pleasing and comforting for us to live. This effort to create a comforting environment results in a home (or maybe two), furnishings, collections, artwork, and precious “things” … all tangibles that call for our attention. Ultimately, though, it is all STUFF. Just stuff. And some of the stuff is even trash. I spent three full days with my mother (and sister) cleaning out books, tote bags, frames, broken ceramics … to assist my mother with her stuff. She is aging and does not need or want all of her precious things; so at her request to assist her with a future, as of now undefined, transition, we did our best. This experience catalyzed much thought, motivation and energy to support elegant transitions.

Transitions are an everyday occurrence in life. Some transitions are more colorful than others. When we age, transitions seem to become more complex and challenge us in new and different ways. Below we offer a list to consider of trigger points when a transition period ignites and potential actions that require attention. This list is not meant to be exhaustive; it is meant to bring light to a situation that may be relevant for you, a family member or a friend.

Trigger Points and Practical Actions to Take:

No trigger

• Update incapacity directive (also known as Client Advocate Designation).
• Throw away or give away tangible property that you do not use or enjoy.

Spouse dies

• Update estate plan (will, trusts, durable power of attorney, health care proxies, living will or do not resuscitate orders)
• Refresh account ownership documents
• Review long term care policies

Signs of dementia

• Update estate plan (will, trusts, durable power of attorney, health care proxies, living will or do not resuscitate orders) while the person is still able to make decisions about their wishes.
• Review health and long term care insurance policies
• Determine if aids (such as drivers, home care, etc.) are needed
• Determine if the assistance of a social worker is warranted as a government program advocate
• Locate estate planning and financial documents and keep in safe place
• Determine when and if control over and/or ownership of assets and property should be transferred to another family member

Lifestyle choices are an important component to remaining physically and mentally fit as we age.  This article on dancing contains a surprising twist on the assumption that all forms of exercise are beneficial, at least in Alzheimer’s prevention.  In a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, dancing was the only physical activity to offer protection against dementia due, it appears, to the fact that split-second decisions must be made over and over again.  Of course, all forms of exercise help with overall physical health.

For many, transitioning to older age can be an enriching and satisfying experience, and we are here to assist you in all aspects of your journey.